While reading this devotional the other night, in my YouVersion app, this one really struck home. At first because of the story of Rich Mullins and his “Ragamuffin band“. I’ve loved Rich’s music for a long time and I came to appreciate his story so much when I saw the movie about his life, Ragamuffin.
I bought the DVD 3-4 years ago and when I first watched it, I cried like a baby. Not only for my compassion for his relationship with he and his father, but because of how parallel it was to my own relationship with my father. I watched part of it again last night on YouTube while preparing for this post and was on the verge of tears again when I closed it. That heart break never goes away even though I made peace with my father before he went on to be with the Lord in 1997. It stays with you.
I was a victim of severe bullying as child. Not only at school (thought that was really bad) but also at home. I taught a Bible study on this and shared my testimony regarding it for my Bible study group and posted it on my YouTube Channel in hopes of it ministering to others. It’s so much more rampant today than it was when I was a child in the 70’s and 80’s and I can’t image it being worse than it was for me, but at the same time I’m so grateful to not have to contend with cyber-bulling the kids have to endure today.
I share that to say this: The worst part of my bullying was the divide it placed between me and my heavenly father. It was really difficult to view my heavenly Father as a loving, giving, compassionate father, when the other father figure I’d ever know, my earthly father, was irate, berating, screaming and shaming. Now I see that my dad was a victim of sin as we all are, and that Jesus died for him just like he did me. My father died with us both loving each other very much. Thank you, Lord! However…those scars remain and those old tapes continue to play in my view of God no matter how much I fight it and stay in the Word and read the truth. I’ve come to understand that it’s a prime weapon of the enemy to discourage me in my faith. The thing I look forward to the most is meeting my Savior face to face and feel His arms of love around me, never again to struggle with the old tapes again.
Having said that…this week’s devotional:
In Awe of Love
Creation discloses a power that baffles our minds and beggars our speech. We are enamored and enchanted by God’s power. We stutter and stammer about God’s holiness. We tremble before God’s majesty…and yet we grow squeamish and skittish before God’s love.
